Sometimes as a woman, I forget that I have value just by being me. I have been programmed to believe that my worth is determined by other people’s happiness. It is a selfishly based belief. I want to make others feel good to validate myself. So it’s not genuinely based on meeting the needs of others, but meeting my own need for self-worth. 

This morning I had an interesting realization. You really cannot change people and sometimes, you have to know when to say when.

I reconnected with my ex a few months ago believing that what we shared was somehow more magical and more significant than any other relationship I have had or would ever experience. Although it was real and it was magical, it wasn’t healthy.  When we parted ways in the winter I was devastated. I couldn’t understand how someone who professed such love for me, could walk away with such ease. It made me feel worthless. Since then, I have been convinced that I have no worth and that I’m not loveable. I made my self-image his responsibility and clung to him because he was the one person who made me feel the most loved. Whether it was healthy or not didn’t matter.  But I now understand that my self worth is mine to claim. I can either let another’s behavior and treatment of me dicate my self-worth or I can stand on my own two feet and love myself.

Today, I’m truly choosing the latter. Whatever happens between him and me will happen, and it’ll be for the best.

I read this on The Daily Word website shortly after this “realization” of mine. It seemed timely:

Friday, August 27, 2010
Grace
God’s grace strengthens and renews me.

Life seems to throw us curve balls every once in awhile. I may face unexpected challenges for which I feel unprepared. In these moments, I turn to God.

The grace of God is available to me whenever and wherever I need it. This powerful gift of divine support calms me, comforts me and lifts my spirits. God gives me the strength and courage to face and prevail through life’s changes and challenges. As I pray, grace fills the empty spaces in my heart or in my life. I am one with the Creator–supported by infinite love.

Guided by the still small voice within, I choose to live an empowered life. With clarity, creativity, vigor and flexibility, I gracefully move through life’s experiences.

The grace of the Lord Jesus be with you.–1 Corinthians 16:23