So today, I came to the conclusion that I am, in fact, a “functional headcase.”  I am able to go about my daily routine without any real obvious signs of dysfunction.  However, deep inside the crevices of my brain, buzz thousands of nagging, anxiety-driven thoughts. 

They simply come and go at whim, whizzing in and out of my consciousness, much like a spontaneous flyby. ”Will I ever find a job?”  “How can I be a more supportive mom?”  “How am I going to fund Christmas this year?”  “Are my kids making friends at school?”  “Is my daughter going to grow up to be a pole dancer?”  “Why is my son so flamboyant?”  “Is it going to be my face that appears as the ‘Old Maid’ in the next edition of the card game?”

I have always been a worrier, but the nature of the worrying and the amount of energy I expend in doing it have changed significantly.  Knowing myself like I do, I understand why I worry. I just can’t seem to manage it.  I have found myself asking how I can be so smart, so presumably capable, and so full of potential and yet be completely incompetent when it comes to putting into practice what I know could remedy my problem.

Is it lack of faith? Is it lack of courage?  Is it simply low self-esteem? 

I am asking you. 

Do you know?